Born in North India to parents who migrated from South India what do I call myself - North Indian or South Indian. Living in Bangalore now, many people are perplexed by my fluency in Hindi combined with the information that I am a Malayali. *Side note: It was recently that I found what Malayali meant - mala - hill and aal - person - a person who resides in the hills; and not just one who speaks malayalam* I always identified myself as a Keralite with a tagline that I was born and brought up in Delhi. But for no reason at all I wanted this clarification with self. Since I have created a mocktail of languages I know in my head.
Living in Bangalore now I am obligated to learn Kannada to be able to participate in discussions. Early days here were tough when I had to smile incessantly to show Yes! I am with you in your conversation. Even though I wasn't and wanted to run away most of the times. Now that I understand the language it is funny & cumbersome that I have to to sit and comprehend through those conversations. Though it is fun to learn the meaning of fun talk around. And that smile on my face is still there. People around me talk to me in Hindi in the pretext that they want to improve their speaking skills, I am fine with it, and why wouldn't I be. It is a easy way out. In many gathering though this is pointed out when they are left with no more good things to discuss. My kannada speaking (and comprehension) skills are under scrutiny. People reason among themselves on how good or bad it is. I sit and smile ( with a deep frown inside, praying for it to end and looking for ways to escape). In one of such discussions a lady asked me , Jyoti, when you think to yourself which language do you use?. A very valid question. I use Hindi most of the times. What tag does it give me then?
I never thought Hindi was such a problem. It was part of my childhood and so was normal. Thankfully, my parents were thoughtful and strict enough to teach me Malayalam. And I can manage myself around malayalam speaking people and region. But I know several who cannot and do not attempt too. It seems strange for me now that I am on the other side.
Language has many sides to it. It can build bridges and walls at the same time. Though the answer to the question is clear that I am a south Indian. Will the south Indians identify with me?
Living in Bangalore now I am obligated to learn Kannada to be able to participate in discussions. Early days here were tough when I had to smile incessantly to show Yes! I am with you in your conversation. Even though I wasn't and wanted to run away most of the times. Now that I understand the language it is funny & cumbersome that I have to to sit and comprehend through those conversations. Though it is fun to learn the meaning of fun talk around. And that smile on my face is still there. People around me talk to me in Hindi in the pretext that they want to improve their speaking skills, I am fine with it, and why wouldn't I be. It is a easy way out. In many gathering though this is pointed out when they are left with no more good things to discuss. My kannada speaking (and comprehension) skills are under scrutiny. People reason among themselves on how good or bad it is. I sit and smile ( with a deep frown inside, praying for it to end and looking for ways to escape). In one of such discussions a lady asked me , Jyoti, when you think to yourself which language do you use?. A very valid question. I use Hindi most of the times. What tag does it give me then?
I never thought Hindi was such a problem. It was part of my childhood and so was normal. Thankfully, my parents were thoughtful and strict enough to teach me Malayalam. And I can manage myself around malayalam speaking people and region. But I know several who cannot and do not attempt too. It seems strange for me now that I am on the other side.
Language has many sides to it. It can build bridges and walls at the same time. Though the answer to the question is clear that I am a south Indian. Will the south Indians identify with me?
