Few pointers as we reached the 6 month mark!

Frankly, it took me three days to digest the fact she is my own while her father was overjoyed holding her. I was recounting raw experience of the entire birthing process to anyone who was interested. It was like Childbirth 101. However, pain is memory of the past. Atoms have united intelligently. Happy hormones are in-charge now. The Mother in me has awakened! The first few weeks were absolutely tiring. I used to look at her and think – Why do you have to cry so much, just tell me what you want? Okay… so now that I know you are sleepy, I know that YOU know you are sleepy… WHY on earth are you awake crying!? – No doubt, I was stupid! She needed help to adjust to the world and I needed help to help her adjust. We are both adjusting with each other now.

 I still am in awe of the fact that she is mine, when she smiles.

She has grown. Observing her growth, I wonder about the years of physical and emotional investments that have gone behind making us adults. The background of the present size, shape and intellect is unique in billion ways. It took years. Here we are six months down, forever to go!

An exciting movement and show of flexibility is her ability to put big toe in her mouth. She keeps us on our toes, rolling over from one edge of the bed/mat to the other. We are on guard. She waves her hands and does well-paced sit up motions in supine position to show her excitement. She also has a naughty twinkle in her eyes when she sees us approaching to pick her up. Now that she is all grown up (read 6 months old) we have our little conversations on life and world. I speak, she cooes. We enjoy out little chit-chat. She looks deep into my eyes, keenly listening to my voice and I am hypnotized to live and love her.

Several changes have occurred in an otherwise ordinary household of ours. The primetime has been recaptured by television screens (post lockdowns) sprinkled with some baby drama.

Below are a few pointers on additions and changes in our life and style:

·         So many clothes of a ‘person’ fit into a small basket

·         Clothe line is filled with baby clothes

·         She is a Fashionista! Changes clothes quite often

·         More clothes to wash (nappies  + adult clothes on which she pees)

·         We value plastic sheet more – saves our mattress

·         Bed protector zindabad!

·         Sounds in the house: rattling, cooing, singing and CRYING

·         Colorful toys

·         Zero tolerance towards insects who seem like predators

·         Attempts to stifle other sounds in the house – pressure cooker whistle, mixer, utensils falling

·         Joint pains & back aches – we are competing with her flexibility

·         Discussions around poop consistency, color, quantity and smell

·         Dark circles and sleeplessness – someone I know said dark circles are seal of motherhood.

·         We are humming lullabies to ourselves instead of popular film songs

·          

When lockdown overlapped confinement

Mine was ordinary confinement with my ‘bundle of joy’, intended to strike out a couple of months on the calendar (provided by the local bank) hanging on that wall.  Who knew it would be etched in the history of mankind, (no) thanks to the microscopic convoy going haywire!  I was tired post-childbirth and mentally unprepared for the sleepless ‘cry-full’ nights. It was chaotic for me, and nobody told me it would be so. Days passed by in learning, recovering, and adjusting to the high pitched crying. Like any other lazy person, I have always wished for a time when I wake up in the morning without having to hustle through the routine. Now I am awake every two hours without a routine! While earlier a 30 minutes nap did not count in my sleep cycle, now I look forward to it.

In between changing nappies, I could catch up with some updates on the current developments. A couple of weeks ago when the gravity of the pandemic had not hit us Indians, daily soap operas and films dominated our television screen during primetime. Now, it is buzzing with news of the overkill from across the globe. On the global scale, countries were (are still) learning to carve their way out of the pandemic. The world was moving towards “lockdown”.  Across the world, nations have sealed borders. And we still don’t know for how many more days. I couldn’t help but think of the similarities between my personal confinement and the global restrictions on movement. Our way of life is now being altered by the restrictions imposed to ‘flatten the curve’ under the pandemic. These restrictions are subtle reminders of the fact that our ‘bare life’ is what matters the most.  

Globally, restricted movements and self-isolation are the recommended ways to slow down the spread. As a customary practice movement of the new mother-baby duo is also restricted to a great degree. I retained my connection with the world through my mobile (phone) during this time of immobility. Even there, never-ending SMS notifications have moved from ‘visit our nearest branch’ to the importance of ‘sanitizing hands’, ‘stay indoors, stay safe’, and ‘recharge and transact online’. Under the lockdown, the number and duration of phone calls have increased. Long lost acquaintances are also reconnecting.  Owing to limited mobility, traffic has shifted from busy roads to the internet. Stranded in a different state from us, my husband is one of the patrons of the World Wide Web. Confinement for us meant a few months of distance yet the option to visit was always open. Lockdown inverted our expectations and dulled our collective emotions over the uncertainty. 

Our privileges are embedded in us so much so that oftentimes we forget to notice them. I began to value the finer details of my life during this confinement. Six months of maternity leave is the latest privilege I got. It is going to be the toughest at the same time the most exciting leave of my life. Soothing the crying infant and washing soiled nappies are the two most time taking activities. Earlier ‘time’ was a privilege that I thoroughly enjoyed. Now some days just pass away trying to monitor different activities of my baby. ‘Me time’ is a thing of past at this juncture. The ability to access basic amenities, groceries, television, and the internet is another set of privileges we enjoy. Every time my father goes to the market to fetch groceries our fingers are crossed. We are also witnessing a wave of change in the way hygiene is practiced at a larger scale. Hand sanitizers are selling like hot pancakes. More people are washing their hands. Unfortunately, not everyone is endowed with these privileges. 

I have been keeping a tab on my infant’s actions and reactions; anything new soon becomes a problem in my eye. So, I tracked down several online resources to educate myself. I am learning and trying to respond accordingly. Tons of resources are available online that explain the current public health emergency. News channels and newspapers are full of Corona related updates. Science of virulence may not be a cakewalk for many but how about common sense? In spite of warnings, the news is filled with the irresponsible behavior of individuals and groups. How do we bring a collective sense there? 

As I tend to my newborn, I hope the world learns, adjusts, and recovers. 

We must take this time to reflect on our lifestyles and value the privileges we enjoy in simple things in our life. Distance will hopefully bring people closer, making us value togetherness. And hopefully, we won’t forget to wash hands after the lockdown is over.


P.S. I sent this piece to a popular daily, they did not publish it :(